The best book my marriage ever read

I am not the kind of person who has shelves full of "self-help" books. However, I did get my degree in Psychology, and I appreciate those few select authors that really have something to say.  Especially when it comes to relationships, because I firmly believe that marriage is the most difficult challenge most of us will ever face.  Please don't misread...I love my husband and love being married, but I think that it is extremely hard to have a successful marriage that lasts.  And by successful, I mean one that makes both people happy the majority of the time.

The absolute best book I ever read as a new wife was "Personality Plus for Couples" by christian author Florence Littauer.

Here is some info about it:

The two of you do and see things differently, but that doesn't mean one is right and the other must be wrong. Rather, as expert Florence Littauer shows, your differences are a matter of personality. 

Personality Plus for Couples will help you resolve personality conflict and appreciate what's unique about your mate--and yourself! Using her proven principles from Personality Plus and insightful examples from other couples, Littauer offers husbands and wives: 

 * a personality profile test to identify their personality types
 *the trademark characteristics of each personality type
 * ways to resolve hot conflicts that arise between spouses
 *what to expect if you marry someone of the same personality type, the opposite type, or a  compatible type

Don't resent your differences--understand them! Allow and encourage each other to be who God created you to be, through Personality Plus for Couples.



Basically she breaks everyone's personality into 4 major classifications. They are melancholy, phlegmatic, choleric, and sanguine. Each one has positive and negative traits associated with it, and every person has some combination of these 4 (most have 1 or 2 that dominate). The book includes a test that you and your spouse take to tell you what traits are dominant in your personality.

But Littauer's real genius is that she explains how each personality tends to view certain situations, how these traits alter the way we perceive things, and how knowing what personality your spouse is helps you understand WHY they do what they do.

 It is truly eye opening and marriage changing! It didn't change how either of us acted necessarily, but through this book we began to understand each other SO much better! It has helped each of us throughout our ten years of marriage, and I recommend it to every couple I know, whether they are struggling in some way or not ( since we ALL know the struggles will come at some point.)

Even if you are not in a relationship, Littauer's books are a great way to just understand yourself and your interactions with others. She has an original "Personality Plus" as well as "Personality Plus for Parents", which I think is another great resource, since it explains how each personality needs to be parented in a slightly different way.  Give it a try!