Thursday, September 1, 2011

What can I say?

I haven't written much lately.  I just haven't had it in me.  Haven't felt like I had anything to say that really mattered. I have been reading several other blogs though. Sad, heart breaking stories...of a woman who suddenly lost her husband, of a young mom who recently lost her 3 year old son to cancer. Being a melancholy I have internalized each story and they have shaped my days.  I hate that about my personality. I hate that I always feel other people's pain so intensely.  Sometimes it is just too hard.

Being a woman of faith, I have prayed for these women, and thought about them constantly.  Neither woman is a believer (based on what they have written) and have questioned why the God I believe in would take their loved ones.  And I lay in bed every night wondering the same thing. Wondering about what (if anything) I, as a Christian, could say to someone in this position that would make any sort of difference, that would bring any consolation. I can only think of one thing.

   I don't understand why bad things happen, why children get cancer, or fathers get taken away from their families.  But I love my God and trust in him so much that I know that there IS a reason. I also know that he loves me so much that he understands when I get angry with him about the injustice of it. I know that when I get to see him, he won't mind if I have a few very tough questions for him to answer. 


Not very uplifting or inspirational.  Just the truth.  I can't tell you why.  I can only tell you that my God loves you very much, and that he hurts FOR you. He must be a melancholy too.  :)



If you have a moment please take the time to read about "Rockstar Ronan" I pray now that his family can find peace, and that Maya's mission to change the world in Ronan's honor will be fulfilled.

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.


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